Valentino Monologue at Master Class Showcase

Thursday night I performed a monologue from Valentino in the Black Box Theatre at the College of the Canyons. It was a lot of fun, and I got some nice compliments.

Here's the monologue.

VALENTINO:
                                                 His mind
Was made for battle, bloody rendezvous.
He worked on war machines of every kind.
He fought Marcellus, saving Syracuse
With lever, fulcrum, pulleys. If I find
One man like that — by God, I’ll never lose.
In you I see the spark of Archimedes.
If you design the tricks, they’ll sign the treaties.
The Greeks relied on rocks and spears and arrows
Till Archimedes built machines for war.
He knew the ancient secrets of the Pharaohs,
Plus many things no man had known before.
When fifteen thousand Romans sailed the narrows,
A fleet of sixty war ships came to shore.
The Greeks were just about to call it quits,
But Archimedes always kept his wits.
With massive mirrors focused on the sails,
He cursed the Romans, burst them into flame.
The blazing waters filled with cries and wails.
He kept them churning, burning. Still they came.
With mighty catapults he sent them hails
Of heavy stones, to maim their men and claim
Their bones. The battle raged until they saw
The terror of the Archimedes Claw —
An iron hand, suspended from a tower,
To hook their hulls and lift their ships away,
Then smash them down with God-like power,
All roiling, toiling, boiling in the bay.
Now doomed and damned, they found their final hour
As sunset met the dying of the day.
When Archimedes saw that bloody swell,
He knew he was the architect of hell.
Surviving Romans cowered in disgrace.
As Archimedes laughed, dead bodies swirled.
He stood above the battlements to face
His fallen enemies with flags unfurled,
And shouted to the wind, “Give me a place
To stand and, by God, I will move the world!”
Which illustrates the power of the lever.
And you, my friend, are equally as clever.
You are my General of Engineering.
Come, ride beside me on my noble quest,
And through the centuries they’ll be revering
Your name — Leonardo da Vinci! Best
War engineer since Archimedes! Cheering
Your genius, which will now be manifest.
When under fire and standing at the brink,
Then wonder, “What would Archimedes think?”
It’s not the force, but where applied, and when.
Some men believe raw numbers turn the tide.
I’d rather have the odds against us, ten
To one, if you’re the one man at my side.
The greatest wars are won by brilliant men,
And you will be my weapon, multiplied.
I love my Spanish sword, and all men praise her,
But nothing holds an edge like Ockham’s Razor.